Good Morning, Sluts

tumblgang:

codyslipring:

spn-fandom-breathing-heavily:

westbor0baptistchurch:

“But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.”

image

not even risking that shit

scrolled past this, re-evaluated my life, then SCROOOLLLED back up and hit the damn reblog button. 

  1. She ain’t no games in real life so I take her serious all the time
  2. Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS
  3. I’m not climbing no mountain with a pig on my back, 🙅🏽🙅🏾🙅🏿 Negative.

(Source: illinicoise, via peerless-princess)

buddha-buns:

intoxicatedindreams:

kimreesesdaughter:

The year is 2018. Your bills are on autopay. You just got paid and you still have $1200 from the last check. When you want something, you buy it without moving money around. Your credit cards are paid off. You and your friends have 2 international trips planned and paid for this year. Your parents are in great health and you’re able to help if they need anything. You love your job. Your desired creative career is falling into place and you get to take your little cousins to Six Flags and Universal Studios over the Summer. Your relationships are healthy and supportive. All of the toxic energy from the past 6 years is gone. You going to concerts, eating good across the states and your crib has art and warmth throughout. 2018 is going to be so good to you.

reblogging this for that 2018 good luck

90% of the way there, just need to have my wedding on saturday and I’ll be g2g

(via heart)


hanlon-s:

steve, at the mall: excuse me? i lost my kids can i make an announcement?

employee: of course

steve, leaning into the mic: goodbye you little shits

(Source: h-arringtons)

jopara:

*googles number i dont recognize calling me instead of answering*

(via hotboyproblems)


gray-firearms:

plumber-with-a-gun:

john-paul-jonesing-for-liberty:

A Wisconsin mall Santa decided to handle one of the naughty list members early this year when a young girl told him her Christmas wish was for her stepdad to stop molesting her. He and four of his elves attacked the guy, who was waiting nearby, and pummeled him unconscious.

An eyewitness recalled, “Santa didn’t say nothing. He just grabbed the back of the guy’s skull and headbutted him REAL hard.” The witness continued on to say, “Then Kringle got on top of him and just started pummeling him. He was laughing and screaming ‘Ho! Ho! Ho! Motherfucker!’

I love this.

There should be more stories like this

(via empressme-bitch)

gayforzendaya:

last night I was just minding my business and this nasty ass bug landed on my arm and I kept trying to shake it off (Taylor Swift™ No copyright infringement intended. Property of TAS LLC Management 2014©) but it wouldn’t get off

(Source: woifiecindy, via witch-panties)

500daysofjuls:

when u like someone and ur stomach feels like 🌹🌹🌹🌼🌼🌸🌺🌺🌺🌸✨✨🌙⭐️🌟🌟🌤🌤☀️🌙💫✨✨☄🌙

(Source: juls-baby, via kardashiansfuckyeah)


meladoodle:

[reads ur palm] hey… this line here means you think people who read your palms are really hot…….

(via hotboyproblems)


themagicalperhaps:

oakenroots:

themagicalperhaps:

Throw sage at people to cleanse them of their bullshit

I know this was sort of a joke but I grind a sprinkle of sage into the food I make for people who live with me when I’m too tired for bullshit so….

THIS IS GOLD

(via crystaldomicile)